


Of Ashes and Paradise Lost

by Pandore



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Betrayal, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Childhood Friends, Churches & Cathedrals, Love/Hate, Lovers To Enemies, M/M, Mild Blood, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Set during Adam's time in America
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 14:35:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandore/pseuds/Pandore
Summary: "They, hand in hand, with wandering steps and slow,Through Eden took their solitary way.”― John Milton, Paradise Lost-----Ainosuke and Tadashi talk, and their words echo through the empty church. Eden is a faded memory.
Relationships: Kikuchi Tadashi/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	Of Ashes and Paradise Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I'm obsessed with sk8 the infinity and as much as I hate Adam, I think he is a fascinating character and an amazing villain - and his relationship with Tadashi is extremely interesting. So here we are.

There’s a storm raging outside ; Ainosuke can hear the muffled screaming of the wind through the thick stone walls. The beautifully crafted stained-glass windows above him shake under the violence of the torrential rain. Yes, it’s Hell outside, but here in the church, the air is perfectly still. It feels pure. Divine. Painful.

A door creaks open behind him, letting the chaos of the outside world seep into the quiet stillness of his Eden, just for a second – and then, the heavy wood panel slams shut.

Footsteps. Dress shoes against cold tiles, clack-clack-clack, echoing around vaulted ceilings and high pillars.

« The senator is ready to meet you, sir. Everyone is waiting. »

That neutral, emotionless tone. Flat, dead, rehearsed. A snarl twists Ainosuke’s lips, revealing the sharpness of a canine. He does not turn around.

« You’re making an awful lot of noise. I thought you were quieter – the type to slither around, to appear behind someone as suddenly as if you were raised up from the shadows. »

« I am not here to antagonize you, sir. »

« Do you think that this is what I’m implying ? »

No answer. Ainosuke allows the silence to linger for a few seconds more before he turns, facing his opponent.

Tadashi is pointedly avoiding his gaze, his features schooled into an unreadable mask. He looks as cold as the stone statues towering above them ; he fits perfectly in here, and it makes Ainosuke’s blood boil.

« Are you coming, sir ? Or should I tell them the meeting is postponed ? »

God, he hates that dull tone – maybe because the voice it belongs to was once warm, inviting, loving, because it felt safe and it felt like home. It felt like Eden.

« You were the one to mention how beautiful this church was, and now you’re the one dragging me out of it. How ironic. »

« I apologize. »

« Save it, you dog,» Ainosuke hisses.

He takes a step towards Tadashi. He isn’t that much taller, but it feels like he is towering over his assistant, a sinister shadow devoid of his matador flair or his well-rehearsed politician politeness – a demon in its true form. Ainosuke without the masks he usually wears.

Tadashi makes him feel like he’s being stripped bare. Like his flesh is getting ripped off to reveal his soul. It’s terrifying and raw and painful and Ainosuke _hates it_ , because despite everything – despite how he’s treated him, despite how they drifted apart, despite his cold dead voice and his indifference, despite the way love shifted to hatred, being around him still feels like it always did.

« Leave me alone. »

Tadashi lowers his head, but he does not move. Time stands still ; the storm outside rages on. Every second of silence that passes makes the atmosphere more tense, and Ainosuke feels like he might have been turned to stone.

A flash of lightning illuminates the church through the stained-glass windows, and something shifts in Tadashi. His jaw clenches and his eyes finally meet his old friend’s.

« … I never meant to hurt you. »

Loud breaths. A heartbeat.

A chill goes down Ainosuke’s spine.

« … What did you say ? »

It feels surreal, bringing it up out loud. It feels wrong.

« I never meant for things to end up this way. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. »

Tadashi’s voice wavers ever so slightly. A shadow passes over his face. Longing. Pain. Remorse. Sadness.

It’s disgusting.

« You dare claim something like this, after what you’ve done ? You weren’t my friend, Tadashi. You were nothing but the snake in the garden. You gave me a taste of the apple and you ruined me. You offered me paradise and you stood by as it was being ripped from me. »

_The warmth of a summer evening, laughter ringing through the air, the sound of wheels barreling down a winding road, scraped knees, bruised legs, a cut on his finger. Soft and caring hands bandaging his wounds, a smile, his heart beating loud and fast. Timid lips against his own._

Ainosuke flinches. He pushes the memory away, but the ghost of his first kiss still lingers on his mouth.

« I had no choice. »

White anger flashes through Ainosuke’s mind. He steps closer, into Tadashi’s space.

« You should have helped me. You should have fought for me. Did I mean nothing to you ? »

A beat.

« Answer me ! »

Ainosuke’s fingers curl into the fabric of the other man’s suit, pulling him up like a rag doll. Tadashi’s gaze is unwavering. He’s so close he can feel his breath.

« You meant…everything to me. And I meant everything to you. »

« … No. I don’t care about you, » Ainosuke growls. « You’re a dog. You serve me. That’s all you ever should have been. »

No answer. Over their heads, the stern statues and the figures trapped within the stained-glass windows judge the scene in silence. Here they are, painted in vivid colors, shining like a mirror ; Adam, Eve, the Snake and the Apple. Ainosuke feels Adam’s eyes on him, and something shifts. Something breaks. The child he was emerges from behind the dark clouds of his mind, like a ray of sun shining through a hurricane for a surreal suspended second.

« All I ever wanted was not to be alone. »

His voice is low, quiet, almost a whisper.

« You don’t have to be. »

Ainosuke’s grip tightens.

« Do you think I am enough of a fool to trust you again ? You were the serpent, Tadashi. »

_The garden, marks on his arms,« are you okay ? », stolen moments, an embrace, genuine smiles, warm hands, years going by. Intertwined hearts etched in an empty pool, longing glances across the room, first times, secrets, genuine happiness in these fleeting moments, thinking it’ll last forever._

« I was your Eve. »

Ainosuke kisses him.

It’s desperate and rough, almost violent. It says _I hate you_ and _I loved you_. It says _I never want to see you again_ and _I can’t live without you._ It’s a paradox and it burns, it burns, it burns. It’s a window to the past and a last goodbye to the Eden of their youth ; it tastes like ashes and paradise lost.

A sharp pain pierces through the haze of memories endlessly replaying through Tadashi’s mind ; a drop of blood falls from his lower lip, and Ainosuke’s mouth is tinted red.

Long spindly fingers slide under his jaw, forcing his head up, his dazed eyes caught in his old lover’s red glare. His lips part, but his voice dies in his throat.

Ainosuke releases his hold and takes a step back.

When Tadashi sees the look on his face, he knows it’s over.

« Well, we shouldn’t make our dear host wait any longer. I am guessing the car is outside. »

« Yes, sir. »

The mask is back on. Ainosuke’s gone. There is only this skillfully crafted facade.

« Good boy. »

His steps echo in the church. The door slams, and Tadashi’s left alone.

Above him, Adam and Eve look somber.


End file.
